ANNIVERSARIES COME AND GO....QUICKLY. ENJOY THEM

 

Girls

Today is Joni & Ryan's 14th wedding anniversary. That hardly seems possible to me and likely to them as well. How does that time go by so quickly?

Mom cross-stitched a pattern that hangs on our bedroom wall, celebrating our 12th wedding anniversary in 1986. In 9 days we will be celebrating our 48th! 

Dates of celebration are looked forward to, and before we know it, they have passed. Birthdays...anniversaries...dates of significance...here and gone.

I'd urge you to look forward to and celebrate those days. But more importantly...try to find something to celebrate in every day. Even in those lousy days we sometimes have...there's something we should find and celebrate. 

REMEMBER: Your life doesn't need to make sense to other people, and other people's lives don't need to make sense to you.

Be talkin' to ya.

Dad 

WIN...WIN

 

Girls

A few weeks ago mom and I went "RV ing" with our friends Don & Susan, Susan's sister Sally and Sally's friend Cathy. We camped at a state park in eastern Indiana at Brookville Lake. We had a fun, relaxing and learning week while there.

Our campsites were at the end of one section of the campground. Don & Susan's RV was at the top of the curve, we were across the road from them and Sally & Cathy were next to us. Since it was a one-way road into the sites, all traffic in our section rounded the curve by us as they headed back to the entrance of the camp. Sally & Cathy's site had a nice shade tree next to their trailer so we all settled there when we were outside. They had a big mat on the ground and we put all our chairs, tables and fans there and with the shade and a nice breeze it was a great congregating place for the week.

Each day, folks would drive by, walk by or ride by as we waved or said hi to those passing. Every day, a group of 4 young kids came by, 3 girls and a boy. The oldest girl was probably 10, the next 9, then 8 and the boy was maybe 6. Every day the 9-year old was so outgoing, saying, "hi...how are you...what'd you do today," followed by a "see you...hope you have a good day tomorrow." The 10-year old was equally friendly as were the two younger ones, but the 9-year old was the leader. 

As I said, every day, they would ride by and wave and say something friendly. One day the 9-year old saw me near our RV and asked what we were doing tomorrow and I said we were going "Pontooning". She asked what that was and I pointed to a nearby pontoon boat and said we're taking one of those out on the lake. She oohed and ahhed and said that sounded like fun. She introduced who she was as well as her three amigos and then asked my name. I told her mine and immediately forgot who she said all their names were and they were off for fun again.

On our next-to-last day, the two older girls rode by while I was outside our RV and Miss Friendly said "tomorrow is our last day" and I told her it was ours too. We talked for a minute and then I asked her where her campsight was and she pointed to a big RV about 6 sites from ours. I walked toward their RV while the two girls took off on their bikes. When I got to their site, there were 6 or 8 adults sitting underneath their shade tent along with the youngest girl and little boy. I didn't want to say "are you guys with the two little girls on their bikes?"...because I was afraid I would scare them thinking that I was telling them they were hurt or were in trouble...so I said..."I want all of you to know, you have the sweetest kids. They are so outgoing and friendly and so sweet...whatever it is you are doing...keep doing it because they are just the greatest kids". They all thanked me for what I said and the little 8-year old girl came over and gave me a hug before I headed back to our camp.

In a few minutes the oldest girl came by on her bike and told me thanks for coming down and saying what I did. I told her she was welcome and that I meant it, they were very sweet kids. Soon, the leader of the gang rode her bike over, stopped, got off her bike and walked over to me and said thanks for what I had told her family and then handed me a bracelet as a gift...one of those that kids make with a bunch of little rubber bands. She said her name was Evelyn, and got back on her bike and headed back to her camp.

(I'm not crying...you are.) 

She had just proven what I had told her family...what a sweet little girl.

Why the title Win...Win? 

Evelyn was a winner...because she had an adult other than her family, tell her she was a good person, that kindness is recognized by people, and hopefully she will continue to stay that way. Folks appreciate happy, cheerful, kind people. I hope as she grows, she'll remember the time the man at the campground came and told her family what a nice girl she was. 

And I won...because I realized there are still families out there who teach their children to be kind to others, to enjoy life and have fun. It's not a bad world out there...unless we make it that way. So don't.

REMEMBER: Some people are no nonsense, but personally...I like a little nonsense.

Be talkin' to ya.

Dad

A BUSY, EMOTIONAL WEEKEND

 

Girls

Friday night, we had the blessing of watching Owen walk across the stage to receive his high school diploma from Jefferson High School. He greeted, and was greeted, by many friends as they celebrated the completion of this stage of their life and prepare for the next. My mind can still see him, along with Anna and Mason, walking down 10th street from our house as they walked to Earhart Elementary. For that amount of time to pass so quickly that he was now graduating from high school was hard to fathom.

Saturday we watched Owen pitch in his last high school baseball game. It was very moving to watch as he walked off the mound for the last time. His long-time friend Brady walked out to the mound to share in a big hug, just the two of them. In their minds, maybe recalling all those years ( 9? ) of playing baseball together, the practices, the car and bus rides, the meals, the hotels, the trips, the close games, the ones that got away, the many victories shared as pitcher and catcher and the friendship deepened by it all. 

Then, one-by-one, the remaining on-field teammates walked over to give him a hug as well, showing their appreciation for all he did for the team. Even several of the opposing team players and fans applauded as he walked off the field. Owen was a well-respected, loved teammate and competitor and it showed. 

Sunday, we celebrated with a party at the Linder ranch as friends and family gathered to wish Owen congratulations and best wishes for the future. We have great pride in Owen and the challenges he faced head-on during his academic and athletic career, from grade school through high school. 

Academically, he was faithful to get his work done, he was respectful to his teachers and never created trouble for himself, his friends or the school.

Athletically, not everyone has the courage to shoot the basketball in pressure situations knowing your action may win, but also may lose the game for you, your teammates and the school you represent. Few players have the skills, or the desire, to be the guy on the mound, involved in every play that occurs, again knowing what you do may help your team to win, but also be the reason for a loss. 

Guts. Not everyone has them. Owen does. We are proud and excited to see where 'the kid with guts' goes next.

REMEMBER:  Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you. – Lao Tzu

Be talkin’ to ya.
Dad

Family memories

Girls

A few days ago, your mom got news that her cousin Paul Hoalt had passed away unexpectedly. That was sad news to hear. Paul was such a fun-loving, nice guy. We knew him to always be in a good mood, laughing about whatever was happening at the time. Always kind. Always willing to help in any way. 

He was at mamaw’s funeral a few months ago and his last words to us was about seeing us at the next fish fry this fall. 

You see, every October Paul hosted a fish fry at his house in the country. He spent all spring and summer catching fish and freezing them, and then had all the family over to fry them up. Everyone else’s job was to bring some side dishes and eat up the fish. It was his way of keeping the Hoalt family reunion going. 

I’m sure you girls remember when we used to drive to Vincennes and meet at the park for mamaw’s Hoalt family reunion and the many, many people who were there. Mom’s uncles, aunts and many cousins along with new little kids and babies and lots and lots of food, horseshoes, baseball, talking and more talking and swings to swing in and slides to slide on. 

The fish fries at Paul’s house were equally well attended. It was a chance to catch up with everyone again if you hadn’t seen them since last year. 

I miss those old reunions in the park. And I will miss the fish fries at Paul’s house. I hope Paul’s brothers will find a way to keep the fish fry going. It would be a good way to honor Paul...and to keep those old comfortable memories going.

 

REMEMBER: If you don't take time to thank God for the good things, please don't blame Him for the bad things. 

Be talkin’ to ya.
Dad

APRIL 15, 2022...a Taxing Day

 
Girls. 

This is not one of my happier days each year. Not because taxes are due, in fact this year they’re not officially due until the 18^th. Last year, because of the pandemic, they were delayed to July 18. Nah, taxes never bothered me too much. I either owed a little or got a little back. Of course if I have the option, I’ll take getting tax money back. 

No, my reason for not liking this day is the sadness that has occurred on this date over the years. It’s just a day I’m happy to get over with. 

On April 15, 2003, we had to put our black lab Layla to rest. She had been a handicapped little girl that we got years before from a friend. Layla, as sometimes happens with labs and other big breed dogs, had hip dysplasia and thus had difficulty walking or running long distances. We got Layla the summer of 1993, a year after we moved to the house on Ortman Lane. There were some hard times for you girls then and it seemed that Layla was a good distraction for you. She needed your love, and you needed hers. She was a good fit in our family. But as she approached her 10^th birthday she was struggling to find the strength in those bad hips to stand, let alone do much else. It just wasn’t fair to keep her in agony so we took her to the vet and had her put to sleep and she rests in our garden all these years later. 

On April 15, 2012, while we were pulling into the parking lot at the Beef House in Covington to celebrate mamaw’s 80^th birthday, I got a call from Chris, my brother Dave’s wife, to say that Dave had died. I knew the day and the call was coming, I just didn't know when, and it’s the type of call you don’t ever want to get. When I last saw Dave, days before his passing, I lied to him, sorta. But it was a lie I had to say. My last words to him was that I loved him which of course was the truth. But I also told him I would be seeing him in Owensville. That wasn’t a lie in my mind because I knew I would be seeing him in Owensville, but I was saying it because that’s what Chris wanted to hear. You see, Chris was hoping to drive Dave to Indiana to seek better health care for him in Indiana because she was unhappy with what she was hearing the doctors in California tell them. She was in denial that Dave was not going to get better, but I knew he wasn’t. I knew Dave would never survive the trip to Owensville. But to not cause any more fuss than was needed, I said “I’ll see you in Owensville”. But I knew, in truth, I would be seeing him at Holder’s Funeral Home in Owensville, where he would come to be taken to his final resting place. 

On April 15, 2015, when your mom, mamaw and I were in Florida, I got a call while we were having a sandwich at the mall. It was from our friend Sara who was responsible for us getting Sam, our black lab that we rescued the year before. Sam was at Sara’s farm with the rest of her large crew of dogs. Part of our agreement with Sara when we got Sam was that when mom & I needed to travel, Sam could stay at the farm while we were gone. So while we were in Florida on this trip, that’s where we took Sam. That call from Sara was maybe tougher than any call I had taken in a long time. Sara told me there had been an accident at the farm and 10 of the dogs perished in the accident…and one of them was Sam. 

It's hard to hear the date April 15, without thinking of the struggles we’ve had related to that day. I’ll have to continue working each year, as we celebrate old mamaw’s birthday on April 15, to forget the sadness and instead remember the good times with Layla, Dave, Sam…and mamaw.   

REMEMBER: Never run away from a gun. Bullets can travel faster than you can. 

                            – Wild bill hickock/gunfighter

Be talkin’ to ya.
Dad

AMAZING WORLD OF MEDICINE

Girls

It is now 1-week post-op from moms' open-heart surgery. We are amazed to think that your moms’ chest was cut open, a new valve put in, and now home recovering, all in the space of one week. We are in a wonderful, amazing time in the field of medicine and so grateful for it. 

I think back to the early 70’s when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, the early 80’s when my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer and late 80’s when my sister Joan was diagnosed with breast cancer. Treatments, surgeries and therapies in those days were – not barbaric – but were certainly not easy. Those loved ones were part of the 'test patient population' for how to treat patients with cancer. Many methods were experimental, were a “let’s try this because we don’t know what else to try” method, in hopes it helped the patient, or gave the medical field the knowledge of what to-do, what not-to-do, or what to try next. The thought process was not to save the patients' life, but to buy them some extra time.

Because of those family members and their sacrifice, and many patients just like them, improvements came, sometimes slowly, but they came. When 2010 arrived and I was diagnosed with prostate cancer, many advances had been made from the time my dad had the same diagnosis. Early detection tests had been perfected, surgical methods had improved, medications were advanced, so much so that now, 12 years later, I remain cancer free. 

Over a decade has passed since my surgery and I know improvements have been made. I hope in the next decade there will be another exponential growth in improvement of treatments, testing and surgical methods. 

Five years ago when your mom was diagnosed with a failing heart valve, as the cardiologist told us surgery was in her future, our first thoughts and concern was knowing her sternum would be sawed open to gain access and the pain that would follow as she tried to recover from that surgery. Five years later, when we were told by that same cardiologist that it was now time to replace that valve, improvements had been so dramatic in those 5 years that your mother, (even though she still had her sternum sawed open), her pain level was nearly non-existent. She was sitting up in a chair the following morning. She stood up and took a few steps later that night. Days later she was walking the halls and the following day she was on her way home. 

We are amazed. 

We are grateful. 

We are blessed.

REMEMBER: Be yourself; everyone else is taken. - Oscar Wilde, writer

Be talkin’ to ya.
Dad

BUTTER

Girls

While fixing some toast for breakfast this morning and putting a slab of butter on it after it popped out of the toaster, I had a flashback to 55+ years ago. 

I moved from little Owensville to bigger Vincennes in June 1962 when I was 8 years old. I had a long summer as I was new and knew no one. I met a few guys from the nearby area but just got to know them enough to say hi and maybe play some baseball on a nearby diamond, but more times than not, I was just hanging around our place, passing time. 

When I went to school that fall one of my first friends' I met was Jimmy Miller. All these years later, Jimmy remains one of my great friends. Jimmy’s parents, Jim and Virginia, and his siblings, David, Richard and Ann, lived out in the country. I used to ride the bus with Jimmy to his house after school on Friday’s and spend the night (sometimes the whole weekend). 

In the morning, Virginia made breakfast for the 7 of us which most of the time consisted of cereal and toast. The toast always had a slab of cold butter in the middle of it when she handed it to me and I was often baffled with what to do with the butter. At home, we didn’t have a toaster so dad would take the bread, put a glob of butter in the middle of it and then put it in the broiler pan in the oven so the toast came out browned and the butter melted while in the oven. It was so good. 

Back at Jimmy’s, by the time Virginia made 7 or more slices of toast in the toaster and then put the butter on it, the toast had cooled down and the butter hadn’t melted. I didn’t know what to do with that pat of butter and I would try to spread it out but usually didn’t have much luck. So I would end up taking a bite of toast and this big lump of cold butter. Ugh. 

(Maybe that’s why we keep our butter out in the room so it’s warm when we put it on the toast. I’m guessing Virginia kept her butter in the fridge so it was pretty stiff when she cut it to put it on the toast that was already cooling down.) 

Anyway, when I fixed my toast this morning and put my slab of butter on, it took me back to the Miller house long ago. 

I have so many wonderful memories of the Miller family home. I was there so often, Jim and Virginia referred to me as their 4^th son. They were always so kind, giving and supportive of me that over time they became an extra set of parents for me. They no longer were Jim & Virginia, they became “ma and pops”. They are still alive today and in their late 80’s. When in Vincennes I always try to make a trip out to the country to say hi and give them a hug. 

(Speaking of my dad’s toast, once in a while Jimmy would come stay at my house and dad would fix breakfast the next morning. Jimmy told me in recent years that a memory he has of my dad is the great toast he made for breakfast.) 

Maybe Jimmy didn’t know what to do with his mom’s butter either. (smiley face)

REMEMBER: Believe in this world that there is meaning behind everything.

Be talkin’ to ya.

Dad