Cindy & I have seen comedian Bill Cosby twice. Both times he was entertaining at Purdue's Hall of Music for Purdue's homecoming weekend. The first time was shortly after we moved to Lafayette...35+ years ago. The last time was probably 20 years ago after the release of the album...'Himself'.
One of the stories Cosby told that night...was about a trip he had taken...and a little boy that sat near him...named JEFFREY. Bill knew his name was Jeffrey...because Jeffrey told everyone that would listen that his name was..."JEFFREY...and I'm FREEEE years old"...as he held up 3 stubby little fingers.
Jeffrey was a handful for his mother. No one rested on the flight as all they heard was Jeffrey...and Jeffrey's mother saying..."Jeffrey stop that"..."Jeffrey don't do that"..."Jeffrey don't you dare". When she first sat down with Jeffrey...her hair was neatly combed and her clothes in order. By the end of the flight...her hair was hanging in her face...her clothes were knotted and twisted as she wrestled with little Jeffrey. Not until the last few minutes of the flight...did Jeffery settle down and eventually fall asleep. As they exited the plane...all the passengers enjoyed walking past Jeffery to wake him up...as his body jerked and twisted...as a child does when he's on that verge of trying to stay awake and fall asleep...and they would giggle that sinful laugh as he twitched...and whined.
Well...on my flight home from California last night...specifically...the leg from Salt Lake City to Indianapolis...I didn't have Jeffrey sitting behind me...but I did have...VIVIAN !
Vivian was probably 2...maybe 2 1/2. Now, Vivian only said a few words that made the hair on my neck stand up...and my head hurt...and that was NO!...and MORE CANDY! But that was enough...because she said it loud enough for the pilots to hear from their seats in the cockpit.
But not only was Vivian a little challenging...but Vivian's daddy had a voice whose normal audible volume was about a 7 on a scale of 10. There was no 'inside voice' in this man. So I learned Vivian's name...not from Vivian...but from her daddy.
NOW VIVIAN...YOU HAVE TO STAY SEATED...WITH YOUR SEATBELT ON. VIVIAN...YOU CAN'T STAND UP BECAUSE THE PILOT WILL BE ANGRY. VIVIAN...YOU CAN'T HAVE ANYMORE CANDY UNTIL THE PLANE TAKES OFF.
(Now insert a 2 1/2 year old scream here saying...MORE CANDY!!)
OKAY VIVIAN...YOU CAN HAVE 1 PIECE OF CANDY BUT CHEW IT SLOWLY...BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HAVE ANYMORE UNTIL WE TAKE OFF. VIVIAN...WHEN WE GET UP IN THE AIR...WE CAN WATCH A MOVIE ON YOUR MOVIE PLAYER. VIVIAN...DO YOU WANT TO WATCH CINDERELLA...OR TOY STORY? NO VIVIAN...WE CAN'T TURN THE MOVIE PLAYER ON UNTIL WE TAKE OFF BECAUSE THEY SAID WE HAVE TO KEEP ALL ELECTRONIC DEVICES TURNED OFF UNTIL THE PILOT SAYS WE CAN TURN THEM ON.
Now mind you...this was approaching 10pm. Candy should not be on ANY child's list of things to have at that hour. They should have been feeding her carrots...or apple slices...something good for her...with a little less sugar. However...that candy was apparently good for her bowels...because she expelled them about 2/3 of the way through the flight...leaving quite an aroma for all of us to enjoy until dad took her back to the potty to change her diaper.
Unfortunately...Vivian was still awake when we landed...because I think everyone on the plane would have enjoyed waking Vivian...to tell her good bye!
The little brat. I bet a dollar that she was asleep in her car seat before dad got out of the airport parking lot.
Dan
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Sunday, December 11, 2011
JUST DOWN THE ROAD
Friday night...Kim and I took Dave and wife Chris...out to eat. It was...'just down the road'...according to Dave. Kim drove us all in Dave's truck...because it's easier for Dave to get into his truck...than in Chris's car.
It was a place Dave and Chris have gone to a number of times in the years they've lived out here. The meal opened with soup...then with salad...then spaghetti and ravioli...oh...I forgot the couple loaves of bread they brought out...then the entree...then ice cream for dessert. It was good...and it was filling...and it was...'just down the road'.
Saturday morning...the 3 of us boys visited for hours and hours...and finally worked up a big appetite...and drove to a place called Doug's for breakfast. It was...'just down the road'. Once again...Kim drove us in Dave's truck. We were all 3 stuffed when we were done...and it was back to Dave's place...and time for a nap...which we all 3 had.
I had mentioned to Dave Friday night...that while we were here...I wanted to go to a place that served nice, fat, juicy, good-tastin' burgers. I told him every once in a while...I just love a great big fat burger.
After our big breakfast Saturday morning...the 3 of us didn't eat the rest of the day...until supper time. Finally Dave said...let's go to Barney's...they have the best burgers. Kim asked if it too was...'just down the road'? Dave said yes...maybe just a little further than the other places...but it was 'just down the road'.
This time...I drove the truck.
Well...it was down the road...onto interstate 580...then another freeway...then 3 or 4 other streets...and about 25 minutes later...we were in Piedmont...a nice little town...to Barney's...and a great burger...with more fries than the 3 of us could eat.
But I got my fat, juicy burger...and it truly was delicious.
Kim and I joked with Dave on the way back home...that 'his' version of just down the road...is a hell of a lot different than Kim and my version. To us 'hicks' back in Indiana...just down the road is a 2 minute drive. To Dave...out here in San Francisco/Oakland...just down the road...is a 30 minute drive.
Guess it's all in what you're used to.
Dan
It was a place Dave and Chris have gone to a number of times in the years they've lived out here. The meal opened with soup...then with salad...then spaghetti and ravioli...oh...I forgot the couple loaves of bread they brought out...then the entree...then ice cream for dessert. It was good...and it was filling...and it was...'just down the road'.
Saturday morning...the 3 of us boys visited for hours and hours...and finally worked up a big appetite...and drove to a place called Doug's for breakfast. It was...'just down the road'. Once again...Kim drove us in Dave's truck. We were all 3 stuffed when we were done...and it was back to Dave's place...and time for a nap...which we all 3 had.
I had mentioned to Dave Friday night...that while we were here...I wanted to go to a place that served nice, fat, juicy, good-tastin' burgers. I told him every once in a while...I just love a great big fat burger.
After our big breakfast Saturday morning...the 3 of us didn't eat the rest of the day...until supper time. Finally Dave said...let's go to Barney's...they have the best burgers. Kim asked if it too was...'just down the road'? Dave said yes...maybe just a little further than the other places...but it was 'just down the road'.
This time...I drove the truck.
Well...it was down the road...onto interstate 580...then another freeway...then 3 or 4 other streets...and about 25 minutes later...we were in Piedmont...a nice little town...to Barney's...and a great burger...with more fries than the 3 of us could eat.
But I got my fat, juicy burger...and it truly was delicious.
Kim and I joked with Dave on the way back home...that 'his' version of just down the road...is a hell of a lot different than Kim and my version. To us 'hicks' back in Indiana...just down the road is a 2 minute drive. To Dave...out here in San Francisco/Oakland...just down the road...is a 30 minute drive.
Guess it's all in what you're used to.
Dan
Friday, December 9, 2011
THE TRIP WEST
My nephew...Kim...and I flew west to San Francisco to see my brother, Dave, today. Our goal...was to get on a couple of jets...get westward...and spend a few days with Dave before coming back east after a long weekend of visiting.
Our goal...was met...because we got there...but the journey was...more than we expected.
Kim and I met up at the Indianapolis airport early this morning...6am. Kim drove up from 'the homelands'...Owensville...and I drove down from Lafayette. Neither one of us had slept very well...I think I had one eye open all night...just fearful that I might miss the alarm. Finally...I got up at 415 and took a shower. When I looked outside I saw...snow...although light...had fallen during the early morning hours and had the ground covered. I was on the road before 5 and met Kim in the terminal a little after 6. We got through security quickly and found our gate and waited for our 8am flight.
Our jet was a small one...80 seats...and about 75 of them were taken. Once we got in the air...it was cloudy and after looking down on the fluffy clouds...I closed my eyes and tried to catch up on some sleep for the 2+ hour trip to Salt Lake City.
I don't think I ever slept...I just rested my eyes. I opened 'em up every once in a while and looked out the window...just to see the tops of the clouds...and no ground. About 1/2 hour out of Salt Lake...I looked out to see the tops of the clouds again...or so I thought. I kept looking...and realized I was looking at the Rockies...covered with snow...not the tops of the clouds. The mountains were beautiful. We may have been flying at 30,000 feet...but the mountains were 10,000 feet closer to us than our Indiana flat land...so it looked like we were flying close to the ground. It was a beautiful sight.
Salt Lake must be in a valley with all the mountains surrounding it...because it was a beautiful sight coming in for a landing at the airport.
We were to change planes in Salt Lake after a 2 hour layover...and be on our way to Oakland, California. That's when the fun began.
About 10 minutes after we were to be boarding our plane...they came over the speaker to say the plane was having some 'maintenance problems' and we might be a little delayed in departing. Our 1115am departure time...became 1135. Soon...it was changed to 1200 noon. When 1200 came and went...it changed to 1230. Then they asked us all to move 4 gates down the terminal to wait and they were bringing a new plane from the hangar and we would be taking off at 100pm. Next...it changed to 130 as they were having trouble getting the plane from the hangar. At 210pm...minutes after they said the plane was on the way from the hangar...a jet from Los Angeles landed at our gate and after all the people got off...they decided this would be our new plane to Oakland.
My guess was...that this was their plan the entire time...there never was a plane in the hangar...they just 'teased' us so no one would demand to switch to another airline and fly away!! After finally boarding and being told we should be under way at 245...we left at 315.
As you can imagine...there were not many smiling faces on the plane. Everyone wanted the stewardesses and pilot to SHUT UP and QUIT APOLOGIZING...and just get us the hell on the way to California.
Soon...I forgot all about the hassles as I watched more of those beautiful Rocky Mountains...as we flew on our way to Oakland International Airport.
It didn't happen the way we wanted it...but the end result was...we got to California...and we are visiting my brother...and THAT'S...what we wanted.
Now having a good visit with Dave.
Dan
Our goal...was met...because we got there...but the journey was...more than we expected.
Kim and I met up at the Indianapolis airport early this morning...6am. Kim drove up from 'the homelands'...Owensville...and I drove down from Lafayette. Neither one of us had slept very well...I think I had one eye open all night...just fearful that I might miss the alarm. Finally...I got up at 415 and took a shower. When I looked outside I saw...snow...although light...had fallen during the early morning hours and had the ground covered. I was on the road before 5 and met Kim in the terminal a little after 6. We got through security quickly and found our gate and waited for our 8am flight.
Our jet was a small one...80 seats...and about 75 of them were taken. Once we got in the air...it was cloudy and after looking down on the fluffy clouds...I closed my eyes and tried to catch up on some sleep for the 2+ hour trip to Salt Lake City.
I don't think I ever slept...I just rested my eyes. I opened 'em up every once in a while and looked out the window...just to see the tops of the clouds...and no ground. About 1/2 hour out of Salt Lake...I looked out to see the tops of the clouds again...or so I thought. I kept looking...and realized I was looking at the Rockies...covered with snow...not the tops of the clouds. The mountains were beautiful. We may have been flying at 30,000 feet...but the mountains were 10,000 feet closer to us than our Indiana flat land...so it looked like we were flying close to the ground. It was a beautiful sight.
Salt Lake must be in a valley with all the mountains surrounding it...because it was a beautiful sight coming in for a landing at the airport.
We were to change planes in Salt Lake after a 2 hour layover...and be on our way to Oakland, California. That's when the fun began.
About 10 minutes after we were to be boarding our plane...they came over the speaker to say the plane was having some 'maintenance problems' and we might be a little delayed in departing. Our 1115am departure time...became 1135. Soon...it was changed to 1200 noon. When 1200 came and went...it changed to 1230. Then they asked us all to move 4 gates down the terminal to wait and they were bringing a new plane from the hangar and we would be taking off at 100pm. Next...it changed to 130 as they were having trouble getting the plane from the hangar. At 210pm...minutes after they said the plane was on the way from the hangar...a jet from Los Angeles landed at our gate and after all the people got off...they decided this would be our new plane to Oakland.
My guess was...that this was their plan the entire time...there never was a plane in the hangar...they just 'teased' us so no one would demand to switch to another airline and fly away!! After finally boarding and being told we should be under way at 245...we left at 315.
As you can imagine...there were not many smiling faces on the plane. Everyone wanted the stewardesses and pilot to SHUT UP and QUIT APOLOGIZING...and just get us the hell on the way to California.
Soon...I forgot all about the hassles as I watched more of those beautiful Rocky Mountains...as we flew on our way to Oakland International Airport.
It didn't happen the way we wanted it...but the end result was...we got to California...and we are visiting my brother...and THAT'S...what we wanted.
Now having a good visit with Dave.
Dan
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