2 YEARS

Two years ago this Sunday the 29th...Cindy & I sat in my doctor's office and heard these words..."We've got the biopsy results back and...Dan...you have cancer."

Well...Cindy & I did what we had to do...and two years later...I am still here and feeling good. Tests every few months tell us the cancer hasn't returned.

In those 2 years...one of our friends was diagnosed with cancer too. After treatment...their tests are telling them too that their cancer hasn't returned.

In those 2 years...my brother was diagnosed with cancer...and died in less than 6 months.

Most recently...our niece's husband was diagnosed with cancer. This Friday...he finishes his chemo and radiation. His journey has just started...but family and friends are praying that it will be a...not too bumpy...road to recovery.

Cindy & I are grateful to our friends and family who have reached out...who have prayed...who have uttered kind and supportive words...for me...for our friend Lisa...for my brother Dave...and for Terry.

There is a reason all of these events have happened. Many of those reasons are yet to be discovered...but we are all on the road to that discovery.

Thanks to all of you.


Dan

THE PAST...AND THE FUTURE

Mom & Dad...and Little Angel

Dear Mom & Dad...it is July 2012.  Your baby's baby...is having a baby. Yep...my baby daughter...is going to have a baby in a few months. This will be your 23rd great-grandchild. I am so excited for our little angel to get here...and I wish you were here to greet the angel.

Mom...you have never met my wife Cindy. We first met when we were in junior high school but didn't start dating until high school...when you were sick. I'm sorry you weren't well enough to ever meet her. She went from an acquaintance...to a friend...to a girlfriend...to my wife...to best friend. We have been married for almost 38 years and have 3 daughters and 3 grandchildren. Unfortunately...you haven't met any of them...either.

Dad...Cindy is still the wonderful girl you knew. The girls have grown since you've been gone. And little Joni...who was less than 2 when you died...well...now she's going to have a little baby. I wish you and mom could be here when the little one arrives.

Neither one of you have met my grandbabies...and I wish you could. We have a granddaughter...Anna...the princess...who will soon be 11 years old. We have 2 grandsons...Mason who is almost 11 and Owen who will be 9 in a few weeks. They are great little guys and gals.

But Cindy & I are really excited about the new baby. Not that we don't love our other babies too...it's just that it's been almost 9 years since we've had a little one around the house to snuggle with...and we can't wait. Cindy has been buying all kinds of little clothes and odds and ends for our little one.

Oh...if you can't tell...we don't know if it will be a boy or a girl. Joni & Ryan...Joni's husband...have decided that they don't want to know if it's a boy or a girl...until they get here. So...until we know the answer...it's our little angel.

Dear Little Angel...

Mamaw and papaw are so excited to see you...and hold you...and love on you. It has been a long time since we have had a little baby around the house to snuggle with. Mamaw has bought all kinds of clothes and goodies for you. I think she is gonna spoil you!!

In a few months...we'll be seeing you. Until then...you keep growing and getting healthy and get ready for lots of lovin' from mamaw and papaw. Oh...there will be other loving too...from aunts and uncles and cousins...but your mamaw and papaw just can't wait.

See you soon.

PS...mom and dad...I'll keep you posted when the big day comes.


Dan (papaw)

'THE' LETTER

Cindy & I are relaxing today…after spending the last few days at Holiday World in southern Indiana. We had a fun time with Jaime, Shawn and the grandkids…riding many of the park rides, but mostly…enjoying the water rides and water parks in this HOT summer weather of 2012.

On our second day at the park…after Shawn, Anna and I had finished riding the Voyage roller coaster…the three of us sat in the shade and waited for Cindy, Jaime, Mason and Owen to meet up with us. While we waited…I listened as a distant speaker did a reading of a beautiful letter I had heard years before. The letter was from a Civil War soldier to his wife…and I consider it one of the most beautiful love letters I have ever heard.

The letter was written by Major Sullivan Ballou, to his wife Sarah, only months into the start of the Civil War. In the letter, one can read that Ballou sensed it might be among his last words to his wife…thus the beauty of the words strait from his heart. Unfortunately…he indeed was wounded in action a week after writing the letter in the first battle at Bull Run on July 21, and died from those injuries July 29, 1861.

Ironically, Sullivan Ballou’s letter was never mailed. Sarah received it...and other letters he had written...after they were found among his effects. Ballou was among the first casualties of a war that would claim the lives of more than 600,000 soldiers.

Sarah, widowed at 24, later moved to New Jersey to live out her life with her son, William (Willie), and never re-married. She died at age 80 in 1917. Sullivan and Sarah Ballou are buried next to each other at Swan Point Cemetery in Providence, RI.

14 July 1861

Camp Clark, Washington DC

My very dear Sarah:
 
The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days - perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.

Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure - and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine 0 God, be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing - perfectly willing - to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt.
 
But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows - when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children - is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country?
 
I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death -- and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.

I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and of the principles have often advocated before the people and "the name of honor that I love more than I fear death" have called upon me, and I have obeyed.

Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.

The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me - perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar -- that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.

Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.

But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night -- amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours - always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.

Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.

As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father's love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell my two mothers his and hers I call God's blessing upon them. O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children.

Sullivan

Though it would never be in the setting such as Sullivan Ballou…I hope that I have made Cindy aware...of how much I love her. May my actions and words to her represent those same type of feelings.

Dan