STRUGGLES.....and LOVE

Girls

My thoughts today are on our 3 big kids…no not you, you’re our biggest kids. Eleanor, Liam and Ruby are our three little kids. No, I’m thinking of Anna, Mason and Owen. 

We had a good time last night watching Owen playing basketball, a nail biter of a game. He played well but I know at the same time he is fighting internal struggles...just like Anna...and just like Mason. The three of them are at that stage of life where they are trying to find themselves. What do they want to do, and how do they get there? We want their picture to be clearer than what it is, but we realize we can’t control all of that. It will happen, when it happens.

I think back to my teen years and the challenges I battled. My mom and her issues, my dad and how I idolized him and was angry with him at the same time. Our lack of money. Our living conditions. My geeky body. It was all self-pity. Only as I got older did I realize those battles I faced, and the many scars they created, were mostly self-inflicted. And I realized those battles and scars made me a better person for having gone through them. I was so self-absorbed I didn’t take into consideration that mom had no control over how she was…and that dad was doing the best he could. I didn’t take note of the love that they both had for me as well as the support my siblings (who were often my co-parents) had for me. They wanted the best for me, encouraged me, and praised me, but not until I was older and a little wiser did I realize it and learned to appreciate what they did for me and recognize the battles they were facing of their own at the same time. 

The same thing will happen for Anna, Mason and Owen. They will eventually find their way. And when they get older, they will realize the struggles they have faced, are facing and will face were all a part of the growing-up phase of life. It will make them better people, more empathetic, more accepting, more loving. They will realize and recognize the love and support that was always there for them from their family and they will give it back to those who gave it to them and even be willing to share it with others. 

We are always a parent. Just as our parents worried about us, we worried about you girls growing up, and we still worry now. You worry for your children as well. As grandparents, we worry about your children (our grandchildren) too. Parenting never stops.

Love from family helped pull me through. I hope and believe you feel it helped pull you girls through, and it will pull your children through too.  

Love. It’s a powerful thing.

REMEMBER: Learning what you don’t want to do is the next best thing to figuring out what you do want to do.

Be talkin’ to ya.
Dad