Happy Birthday JOAN

Birthdays…we all have them…some wish they didn’t…some take real offense at being reminded they’re getting older…many say “it’s just another day.”

In recent years, I’ve tried to be a birthday well-wisher to my friends and family. I’ve created my own little calendar with their birthdays written down on it. As the day approaches, I try to send them an email, or a card, or give them a call to let them know ‘somebody’ remembered them on their special day.

I even have some of our deceased family members on the calendar…my grandparents, parents, brother, sister. It’s a good way to make sure they are ‘not forgotten’. I usually send an email to my remaining siblings, nieces, and nephews as well, just to remind them too. We each then have the chance to recall fond memories and special times with the person, or, if we never knew them, at least appreciate that, without them, we might not be here.

This Sunday, October 25, will be Joan’s (pronounced Jo-Ann), my oldest sister’s. birthday.

There were 6 of us kids, with the youngest 3 still living. Our ages were spread over a full generation, in that, Joan the oldest, had 2 children of her own before I, the youngest, was even born. Joan served not only as a big sister to me, she played the role of a mother at times too.

Joan and her husband, Elvin, were farmers, and I spent many occasions on their farm. I was little enough and immature enough that I didn’t do much farm work. The phrase, ‘worthless as tits on a boar hog’ would have applied to me regarding my help on the farm. Now Dave, my brother, did quite a bit of work on the farm and still to this day, recalls many fond memories of those times. He holds Elvin in high regards for teaching him some ‘life lessons’ that he holds very dear.

After Elvin’s death, Joan stayed on the farm for a few more years, but eventually, moved to town where she remained until her own death. Joan died of complications from breast cancer.

I can still remember going to the hospital the day she had surgery. I met with Diane and Kim, (her children), and we sat in the waiting room while Joan was to have, what we were told, would be a simple removal of a non-malignant lump in her breast. When the surgeon came out to tell us that it was more involved than thought, that it was ‘cancer’ and she had to have a mastectomy, it came as quite a shock to us. I next remember letting Joan sleep in her room while Diane, Kim and I went to a nearby restaurant to get a bite to eat, still trying to absorb what the surgeon had told us. I recall after we were seated at our table, Diane paused a second, and then said, "well…shit". Diane’s not a cusser, so that was out of the norm for her to say, but it represented the shock that we had all just been hit with.

Joan went on to recover and have a good life, although at about her 5-year anniversary, she was found to have a return of her cancer and over the next several years, her health gradually declined until her death.

Joan was a wonderful, beautiful woman. I have never known a person who was a better Christian example of what we should ‘all’ be in life, than Joan. Family, friends and townspeople still speak kindly of what a wonderful person she was.

Outside of my wife, I would consider Joan the favorite family member in my life. I can say that knowing I won’t offend my brother, Dave, and sister, Jean, who will likely see this, because I know they feel the same way about her.

If all of us could live life as Joan did, the world would be a better place.

Happy birthday sis. We miss you and love you…and won’t forget you.


Dan