I sometimes…well, maybe many times…forget the name of someone I run into out in the world. It’s a little embarrassing when I realize they recall my name, but I can’t do the same for them. I almost always remember the face, but dang it if I can connect a name to it. Are you guys like that too? Forgetful with recalling names?
Long, long ago, Cindy and I were married by the minister at First Baptist Church in Vincennes, Indiana. I had attended that church since grade school so when it was time to select the church for our wedding, we chose it. The pastor knew me...probably more as one of the troublemakers in the balcony with my school buddies (Don, Mark, Jimi, George and others)...than for much else. But when Cindy and I asked him if he’d perform our wedding he was happy to do so. He met with Cindy and me multiple times as we planned the wedding and for counseling as we planned our life as a married couple. By the time of the wedding…he pretty well knew who we were. We had a wonderful wedding and Cindy and I were off to start our new life.
A few years later we heard that he had left the church in Vincennes to accept the leadership at another church elsewhere in the state. A number of years after that, through word-of-mouth or an article in the paper, (I don’t remember which), we found that he was going to be the guest speaker at a church south of Indianapolis. Cindy and I thought it would be fun to hear him speak and then meet with him afterwards to let him know we were doing well and what we were up to since he’d last seen us.
So on that Sunday we drove to the church, listened to the sermon and then stayed after, waiting in line as he greeted other folks who stayed after too. When we finally got up to him we shook his hand and asked him if he knew who we were and he apolologetically said he couldn’t place us. When we introduced ourselves and reminded him he had married us at his church in Vincennes years ago, I could tell he was drawing a blank. He faked it, but I knew he couldn’t place us. We wished him well, said our goodbyes and headed home.
Initially I didn’t know how to take what just happened. I was a little shocked that a guy who knew me since I was a pre-teen, had baptized me, had baptized Cindy, had married Cindy and me, would forget us. But the more I thought about it, I realized a person in that position with many years of experience must have performed multiple weddings, baptisms, funerals, hospital visits, and sermons. They must try hard to focus on the current church members he serves, probably hundreds of members that he needs to remember…the husbands, the wives, the children…so they feel a connection with him when they meet. And in the process of recalling those hundreds of current names, he has to push the hundreds from prior churches to the back of his mind.
Maybe that’s my issue too. In trying to remember the names of folks I see frequently…I push the names of old friends and acquaintances a little further back in my memory bank. So, next time we run into each other, if I don’t seem to remember your name, don’t be offended. I’ll bet I remember the face….it’s just my brain is too full to recall the name that goes with it.
REMEMBER:
Stay hopeful. You never know what tomorrow may bring.
Be talkin’ to ya.
Dan
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