DECISIONS

Caring for the elderly...at home.

I spent many of my young years in and around a 'nursing home'. Dad worked there for 10 years or so. He was loved by everyone there that he came into contact...the other employees...and the 'patients' who were there. Many of the patients who lived there...seemed to enjoy it. But I wonder now...did they really?...or did they just accept it?

Flash forward 15 years...and I helped make a decision that...in hindsight...I wonder if I would do differently today. As my dad neared the end of his life, my older sister and I felt that it would be best for his safety if we were to put him in a nearby nursing home. He was not feeling well...appeared to be in pain at times...and was increasingly prone to falling. Living on his own...we were fearful he would fall when no one else was around and...well...all those bad thoughts entered our mind.

So the decision was made and dad went to the nursing home. Two weeks later...he was gone.

For some years now...I have been haunted by that decision. Should I have taken a leave-of-absence and just stayed with him at his home? (That decision didn't enter my mind 'then' because FMLA wasn't around...and I lived three hours away with a working wife and 3 little girls at home.) Would dad's life have been longer...and more 'quality' oriented...if I had not helped make the decision to put him in the nursing home and stayed with him...instead?

I have every intention of NEVER putting Cindy...or myself...there. They are great places to go if you have no other option...I just plan to have other options for her and I.


Dan